I chatted with a few friends and ‘brides to be’ on the topic of the grooms’ duties, before going ahead with writing this piece…. And I am quite astonished to realize that most people were rather oblivious to the existence of the grooms’ duties! This is perhaps largely due to the fact that most magazines, websites & other reference material always focus on everyone’s duties but those of the grooms! The coverage harps about the ‘father of the bride’ or the ‘mother of the groom’ and they are emphatic about the brides maids’ duties and of course there are several columns overtly advising the bride on how to fulfill all her responsibilities, before or after the wedding!
Hence, I decided to write about what is expected of the groom; because to me, especially in today’s day and age, where relationships have evolved so much, the man’s involvement in the wedding planning is equally important as the woman’s! Interestingly, there are quite a few things that can be taken care off by the groom and where his opinion is imperative. I am trying to highlight a few of them below:
1) Choosing The Engagement Ring: Most girls are very touched if their man puts in the slightest of effort to get them anything… and this, is about The Gift’ of a lifetime! Choosing it yourself could really mean a lot to your lady and the perfect way to score your brownie points! Getting some advice from her girl pals to understand what she likes is a great idea. All girls, you will be surprised to know, are pretty clear about the ring they want… the cut of the diamond, the color of the metal and the type of band… they all pretty much know what they want. So getting their sister or girl pals on your side could really help you chose the right ring!
2) The Proposal: Presenting the ring also needs to be well planned as it is a very sensitive moment. Where you present it, the mood, the manner… all need to be thought of as they create eternal memories.
3) Choosing The Wedding Date: Post the engagement, it’s important to decide together, with the families, a suitable date for the wedding. Getting a wedding planner on board can go along way in relieving you both off a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety.
4) Managing the Financial Arrangements: Irrespective of who’s paying for the wedding the financial arrangements and payment schedules may require your attention in order for things to be smooth.
5) Hit the Gym & Figure out clothes: Grooms, more often than not, leave this bit to the last moment; which certainly calls for the ladies to hit the panic button! It’s your big day too guys… so hit the gym and get fit. Throw in a couple of visits to the spa and focus on the grooming… some pampering can really make you too feel good and ease the cold feet! Also, figure out well in advance what you are going to wear and chose your designer. Make sure, you complement your bride’s look.
6) Planning the Honeymoon: This is something both of you need to plan together and she can’t do it alone. In fact, you can surprise her with short listing the destinations. You sure know her likes and dislikes and the kind of place she would want to visit… so take charge and work the math on this one. You will also need to do the ticketing, make hotel reservations and other arrangements yourself. Attention to the finer details while planning this one will really excite her! You could take suggestions from your friends or your wedding planner as well.
7) Miscellaneous: Planning the venue, the caterers, the decor, the entertainment etc… could involve dealing with several vendors. Also, the man’s presence to deal with legal formalities and the fine print is essential. The experience can be very taxing, especially if both of you are working and have your respective jobs to handle. Bringing in an efficient wedding planner to negotiate and sort this for you will prove to be a great move. The wedding planner would assist you all the way, not only with the vendors, but also with easing out your stress.
Hope this helps all you men to plan a great wedding….. Let’s toast to fun times and togetherness while planning the wedding.. Cheers!