So it’s your wedding day! Just you, your beloved and nothing else matters……Erm No! In Indian weddings, the scenario usually reads – Here comes the bride, her parents, her aunts and uncles, cousins twice removed, etc. Although colourful and undoubtedly magical, weddings in India are definitely people-oriented. You find more people freaking out over the guest-list than the actual wedding itself.
It has been wisely said that when you get married, you not only marry your partner but also his or her family…and nothing could be truer for Indian weddings and families. In most cases, the bride and groom have little say and control over the guest-list. With huge Indian families, far-flung relatives, friends, acquaintances, colleagues and even relatives of far-flung relatives expecting an invite, it’s extremely difficult to strike someone’s name off that dreaded guest-list. It’s a common scenario to look around at your wedding and not know more than half the people that have shown up!
Take a deep breath and bring out that pen and paper. Fixing on a guest list may be vital for your wallet and your sanity. Keeping budgetary concerns in mind first make a list of people you have to have with you, such as your family and close friends, people you just cannot do without. Next come people whom you and your parents may feel obligated to invite like not-so-close family and acquaintances, business colleagues and the like (people you may be able to leave out).
Of course the same applies to your spouse. It’s important that you talk to your future wife/ husband before you get started so that you are on the same page regarding the size of your wedding, the number of invitees and the actual scale of the wedding. Lastly, it might be wise to also discuss whom you think you definitely cannot have at your wedding, like an ex or a creepy acquaintance.
If your parents or in-laws are paying for the wedding, which is normally the case in Indian weddings, these issues may require a little more sensitivity and tact. If sensible discussions fail, sometimes you just need to let go, give in and focus on the bigger picture!
Quite often you find that you can eliminate a number of potential guests without starting family feuds and neighbourhood rivalries. There may be hurt feelings, but the furore eventually dies down and soon there will be another big fat Indian wedding to talk about. What really matters is that you are surrounded by people you really want around you on your special day and have the wedding you can truly afford!